When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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