She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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