she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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