Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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