singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
