i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
