New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
