I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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