Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
