"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
