i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
