My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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