smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
