Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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