I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
