i wish my penis had a tongue
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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