Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
