apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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