I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
