so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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