This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
