I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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