Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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