Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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