My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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