she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
