just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
