the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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