Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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