I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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