Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
