i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
