tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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