i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
