p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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