I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
