Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

If i come over, it means nothing

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(203): View more from Connecticut

using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.

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(574): View more from Indiana

i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come

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(815): View more from Illinois

It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.

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(518): View more from New York

Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful

Fav 2 413 385
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(250): View more from British Columbia

holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?

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