i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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