she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
