My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
