I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Holy shit dude........stairs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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