I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Redeem this text for a blowjob
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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