Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
