So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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