Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
