Three words: puerto rican gang bang
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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