What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Bring me that man meat
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
