is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
