is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
