What did we do last night that was yellow?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
