do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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