Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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