I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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