all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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