It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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