She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
