every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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