Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So vagazzling was a success
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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