I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
