I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
