Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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